After the Fox

Musings, rants and doodles of the celtic vixen

Like Little Diamonds
mearu
A new blog for all my sketches, Works in Progress, unfinished thoughts.... Its kinda nice to share them really :D

Where - http://likelittlediamonds.tumblr.com/

Its a good chuckle too especially to those who know where that phrase comes from ;) and in a way its kinda like little hidden treasures, at least to me. Its nice to look back on things and share ideas I have/had with others it could be nice to finish some of them too! I get rather excited about the idea of finishing some of the ones I have posted today for example working with Feralmones again! Yes please :) I have big plans for André and Cherí those pretty foxes with one hell of a sexual appetite. Yep so many plans for the two of them I really want chance and opportunity to work on them especially as I want to make some mini-books with them :3 I won't detail, that's a surprise for much later when the dust of life has settled to a more manageable level :) So excited about that to be honest XD.

So whats new, well for those who read my idle rambling here, if the apartment becomes available at the time they claim (May 16th) then we'll see about moving this week for one reason alone, 4-day weekend to do this in.... has its positives and negatives, but we shall see and then we will know.

What else, nothing much more to really to be said, just that I really want to get caught up on all things, esp art wise as I am getting that terrible itch to want to work on Feralmones again >:3

anyrate, hoping everyone's day is going well ^^

<3
Mearú

A strange game.
mearu
"A strange game. The only winning move is not to play."

More art to be done today trying to really get things flowing as they should, so much to be done, next week some packing and moving of things I wonder how long before the house starts to get that echo. Regardless I have my fingers crossed that there is a silver-lining waiting to be discovered. Back to work, maybe I'll post some WIP? here unsure thats technically what tumblr is for now isn't it? ;)

Last weekend, current events and Pond hopping
mearu
Several things on my mind at once. With my fops coming home and telling me that the flat we have in Olso might be ready earlier we might start that sooner than the 26th which is good and bad, I have set the next couple weeks to be a mixed combination of art and packing, one will suffer the other for a brief bit. Thankfully keeping tabs with my clients every Monday has been one of the best ideas yet, I like it too. I just wish I could be sending them all WIP updates etc at the same time but its just not possible.

Today the Takst office comes by and eyeballs the house then tells us what it is/isn't worth, quite possibly what we have to do to make it worth more. Apart from paint anything of a major renovation is kind of off, seeing that we can't afford much beyond what we presently have. So here is hoping, yesterday's Bank visit was quite pleasant, speaking english with a mother of three was... nice, she understood fully and was brought back to remembering the days where she was in my shoes, chasing the little ones, gathering them up never having that break to just slump in a chair and nap.

This weekend past was nice, I think my favorite things was being out of the house, meeting some new furs. First stop was Etath's Birthday bash where my experimental cheesecake was....looking more like a burnt cookie compaired to the cakes on either side of it. It was still effort placed I never got to try it but its all good, we were very short on time with shopping to be done, a visit to Kal, seeing the location of the flat in Oslo and all the cleaning/preparation in the house to be done in just one day. Etaths was so nice, the Dragon den so cozy and wow the beautiful sculptures! I'm impressed with everything, I was a bit.....reserved with those I didn't know I had no idea of their names, or who they were and no one seemed to really want to talk with me so I did what I do best when a place starts to get crowded with people I don't know, I made myself smaller. A short while later we were off with Nikka complaining that she wanted to go, and onward to the badgers den! Where I was promptly tackle hugged by a fursuited Skarpen! :D Way to feel like a lil kid all over again! followed close behind by Joon! Suited as well! gets the inner child squeeing and the girls estatic about it all. I'm forgetting Dax and his girlfriend back at Etaths, she was suited up and boy did Kelly adore her! So much that when she went to climb out of her suit she pouted and cried terribly! so we went from one suit to a flat with (thinks a second) 4? suits! some cake promptly placed in paws and hugs all around. Insta-melt but then with the "strays" (<3) I have most always been able to calm around and relax, its taken... 4 years? (I think) but I think we're all comfortable enough to say we trust each other and enjoy each others company greatly. Hiding in a corner all happy and content Furble! great sense of humor, friendly, and quite caring. I had to say I didn't feel like he was a new face at all but just another who's always been there. Lots and lots of laughs, bad jokes, terrible humor... for such a short short time.... but then its always too short.... we had to leave, not before I got to snuggle everyone to bits! and meet two more faces on the way out! Aikho, I swear I know you from somewhere somehow XD I can't explain it but it was so nice to meet you. Sarah, I never quite caught the name and I never ask people to repeat themselves more that twice, its an oddity of mine. Still it was nice to meet and greet so many, I wish I could have gotten to know the names to all the faces I saw at Etaths but I was utterly lost.

Current events -
Moving, house goes on market in a couple weeks (less than now), cars get ushered off to be sold,repaired or scrapped. and all loose ends get tied up as best as possible. So moving suddenly, well not planned not something we wanted to do but right now we're trying to keep our heads above the water and in pure survival mode.

Pond Hopping - Every time this subject comes up I can see sadness in eyes, I want to take everyone with me to be honest :( But just because there is a greater distance does not mean that it will be much different! I WILL SEE EVERYONE as often as I can! And look at it this way, you have a definite place to crash when you do hop the pond! But seriously this is the most scarey time, our focus is purely on what must be done. Right now we're looking at barely being able to afford much food on the table, Oslo thankfully will make this not so much a struggle as his company covers half the rental costs of the flat and will enable us perhaps a small chance to save some money before we leave which with any luck... its before winter this year. Its boiled down to not being able to survive, and its difficult for most to see, but a family of 4, its not easy, trust me. It would be different if it was just the two of us but its not. So its nothing against anyone honestly :( just bear with us lets make this all good memories! ^^ and look forward to making so many, many more!

Current events elsewhere - well I'm sure this crytic wording can be understood by those who need to know what this means - I'm so very utterly sorry everyone, I'm a passionate person, fire me up right and I will turn into something you've never saw and its horrific and down right rude and terrifying, I have admitted to this many times, I have apologized for it many times over. I'm just sorry that everyone is somehow caught up in all this, I've spent my life defending myself, I hit a point where I didn't care anymore, I just took the flak for whatever reason it has been fine, but my button pusher has always been attack my family and you'll get fangs first. It still is, but I'm doing best to stay as muzzled as possible, its not worth it, I just hope that this is seen as doing it to prevent any further crap hitting the fan and spraying over onto everyone and not as its been so crudely deemed by some as "fence sitting" As I have said so many times before I don't tell others what to do or think, I value individual opinion and respect it. I won't ever judge, I won't sugar-coat things either, I'm upfront and continue to be so. You can ask me anything I'll answer you straight forward, and if I'm out of line, you can always call me on it and I expect you to when it happens, not wait until its boiled over to something that is difficult to fix or cannot be fixed anymore. In the end all I can say is that I am truly sorry that the tides have swollen this far, I never thought this would happen had I known then I would have bitten my tongue for the sake of the rest. I love you guys, its taken us four years to really get to know each other to what degree we know and we're still learning! But that's what makes a great friendship all the better, you never get bored there's always something more to know and learn about each other and I love the family of friends I have.

Much love and hugs,
Mearú

(no subject)
mearu
I almost never use this place but I find myself more and more cornered these days. At the end of the year I always catch myself reflecting on how things have been, how I think I am as a person..... this perhaps is my reflection time and a chance to just speak my mind freely.

Regardless what others may have to say about me, both good and bad, I think I am a decent person. I am very personal and perhaps this is a downside to myself, but I would rather sit and talk with someone or just hang out and get to know them that way than to read their thoughts or hear what others are saying about them. I guess I kind of hoped for the same thing, at least where possible. In reflecting on myself over the years, I have had a few close calls in life/death, I have managed to survive with min scars. I have been tested and challenged on the job front and in friendships, I think I have endured the best way I can usually put my head down, keep quiet and do what must be done without getting too much griping for it.

I guess right now I'm taking time to sit and write here perhaps more over as a bit of "therapy" for myself. Right now we stand on the brink of extreme change and its quite scarey to be honest, the tides have swelled and given us a good long look at what the future can and will hold for us here. In two weeks we're moving, the house goes on the market and I find myself in what I'm told is a much more diverse area where an english-speaker can find themselves easy to blend in with the rest. I'm not too worried, if anything it brings me closer to more locally there, I kinda look forward to it but I also am reluctant as we'll be moving away from quite possibly our best friend. He's been there to help us thru thick and thin and the first real friend Pro's ever had so I cannot begin to thank him enough for all he's done for all of us. *hugs and love* but its only an hour as opposed to 3! so I suspect we can swipe him away more often than we could when we lived in Fredrikstad. I look forward to being able to poke the others in the area and say HAI THAR! :) Hugs are always a warmed welcome given and received! So come May 26th, the den is moved and a new chapter/short story starts, hoping to make the best of it all!

I think its time I opened, relaxed and just let myself be myself if people want to ridicule me for doing such a thing then that is their objective, not mine. This is my little corner and perhaps the one and only place you can read my unabashed, unbound thoughts, worries, concerns, joys and sorrows all in one. Take it or leave it however you want but at the end of the day, I'm still here. I have friends I love and would do anything for, I certainly am confident that they would do the same for me. Much love to you all, I'm sorry for being so quiet over the years its taken me a long time to come to terms with myself that its ok to speak freely I might not always show it or say it but I do love yas :) <3

<3
One tired momma vix

My Life in a nutshell
mearu
What triggers this? Well I think I need to do this I'm so tired of assumptions being made for or about me so here it is raw and untamed don't like it? don't read it I didn't ask for anything just this is my explaination.

First off I'm a mother of two girls ages 1 and 2.5 years, NOT EASY! Think kids are like dogs or cats think again! They're far more complex, even more demanding and even more challenging, frankly a whole slew of puppies might be easier to deal with than these two somedays.

My FAMILY COMES FIRST - some don't like or understand this. Its simple fact, remember this! As it is Pro and I have no one to watch the kids if we want to go out and do something alone NO ONE! No family and most friends are busy or live too far away or aren't that knowledgeful or kids etc (No offense to any who are close enough, we just wouldn't want to burden you like that) We honestly have NO ONE I have been cooped up in this house for 3 years! so my patience is dwindling and when assumptions are made I get VERY angry. Its been assumed since we are immigrants we're idiots about raising kids, and its also assumed since I have been here for 3 years I should know Norwegian inside and out. Ok tell me where I get the class that allows me to bring the kids or who will watch them etc..... fact is family wise we're hurting. I'm pulling my hair out getting angrier by the day, I'm trying to do the proper house wife thing keep everything clean etc and raise the girls, we're potty training nikka now so NO I don't have time to sit infront of the computer and ignore my kids and house chores just so I can sit and be social via keyboard with everyone! Sorry folks I am more of a personal type I prefer to communicate with people in person if its possible as text will NEVER replace tone of voice or expressions made on the face or body language itself.

I came to the understanding that I will never make it back to the states nor will my parents get to see both their Grandkids ever. The lil fun things I had planned have been thrown back in my face mostly. We're in debt over our eyeballs, some asshat of a company just robbed me blind of my savings and we're tying to fight and get it back, Pro's job keeps stringing him along promising a contract but never giving him one, we have a car to get rid of but no money to fix what needs to be fixed so it can go on auction, debt again, the girls demands, pro and I have come to the understanding we hit a rough spot in our relationship we don't talk as much as we should, high tensions, extreme stress, the pressures of the country itself and yet somehow thru the day I'm supposed to be all smiling all friendly mea? She has no problems or when she does she's invited to talk about them then finds out that no one really gives a shit? Or how about the mail losing commissions? JOY OF JOYS! or even the fact that I've been taken granted of by my art, or it comes across that everyone is just smiling to my face and talking behind my back....thanks... really I know some are doing just that and for that I say thanks.

but I can't blame everyone else for this, no I was the one who didn't whine about her life's problems, that when I disappeared for a couple years because my previous marriage hit the rocks and all hell broke loose then resurfaced to get smacked across the face with judgement by people who had no idea what the terms of everything was! Yeah I'm sorry I don't whine or go emo or complain about what's going on in my life, I don't talk about the issues or problems, simply because this EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN PROBLEMS why the hell should I expect or want anyone to read about mine? In doing that I seemed to have created a "nothing wrong here, all perfect life!" appearance.... sorry its not true, I've become bitter, angry and have difficult time somedays finding reasons why I keep getting out of bed. Self pity whatever you want to call it but I've had life spitting on me from day one, and I won't detail that! So next time anyone wants to assume anything with me.... DO NOT embarrass yourself like that, it takes but a moment to drop an email, or even SMS if you have my phone.... find out for yourself, don't assume or go thru anyone....come directly to me and if you can't do that for whatever reason you think.....then the problem lays in your hands and don't be surprised if I get upset like this...I have a over flowing plate I'm unhappy and if things don't change soon I will likely be killed by my own stress....

End of rant take it or leave it, now you know this vixen's life is NOT perfect, and for the love of gods don't offer anything you can't keep to! its very hurtful and deceitful

Stray Con 2010 Recap
mearu
Stray Con Highlighted behind the cut -

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We all were kids...
mearu
I guess its because I'm a mother now that I can see the frustration, stress, worries, fears, hopes and joys of kids... but thats not exactly what this is about... This is a tiny thought a vent to mind, before you sneer or complain or otherwise frown upon the child... remember this... you were a child once too...

(This ofcourse does not excuse bad parenting, that is an entirely different subject)

Autumn Dreams
mearu
Found a better use for the skull I had started, ^^yay

just mindless painting I think to keep painting? I am in love with Painter...its like real mediums without the huge expense! :D



Family Portrait!
mearu

Family Commission
by =JoesephKerr on deviantART


<33333333333!!!!!

Just a brilliant and wonderful job of capturing the family brilliantly! Its going to be a habit it started with Star, when I commissioned her for a family portrait for anniversary gift when I was still carrying Kelly. I figure once a year at least we will get a family portrait done by an artist, rather than line our walls with photos we'll be lining our den walls with family pictures ^^. Have to get a frame for this today :D I want to start putting these up today.

On a side note, After the Fox comic will be about our family, period. From mom and dad meeting to the birth of both little terrors on up to the present day with the occassional visits from ya'll :D yumi07 of Deviantart ran with the idea that was given to me by Xetsa, of making it a story about us as a family starting from the beginning of us :) and my thought to make the comic into a book at the end of each year, it would make an excellent thing to keep in the family, for them to read it and reaccount things and then maybe a tradition its added to in their own way and thus the story continues :) Brilliant, I honestly don't care if its a "hit" or not its for the girls and us :) and the future generations to enjoy.

ANyrate we'll be off to get shopping done later in the day and I'll be getting that frame, for now thinking more on After the Fox, commissions and idly painting what's hidden in the back of the mind. <33333 the family paintings just brilliant...

What to do...
mearu
After the Fox Comic.... I'm at a loss! I have the main cast sketched out and will be sketching out the rest of the guests and like at some point, I think its just the dust off some art block that's trying to form.... I guess I'll color the main cast and post them for ideas and suggestions on the comic, I want to make it appealing and a fun read. How to go about it is the difficult part, I am open to Ideas and suggestions :) For now...have a sketch :) I think they're neutral enough to be both serious and humorous.



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